the extreme narcissist

So yeah, it's confirmed, I'm leaving in September. I got the offer letter on Saturday, and I'll be going to Russia in September. Bittersweet. 

Say hello to the best animated movie of the year. Everyone expected this movie to be epic, beyond epic even. What  with the return of Woody and Buzz, the final conclusion of a trilogy everyone wanted to see. The return of Mr. Potato Head and Rex, the - hold on a minute, the movie I'm talking about isn't Toy Story 3, no. Sure, Toy Story 3 gave everyone a nostalgic feeling, evoking memories of their own childhood and was a pretty damn good movie. Despicable Me however, has silently crept up behind Toy Story 3, and sprinting past it in typical fashion of one Usain Bolt. I must admit, I didn't know anything about this movie, and perhaps that's why I enjoyed it so much, because I didn't expect anything spectacular. Other than the trailer involving those yellow minions you see in the poster above (They are soooo cute), I didn't know a thing. Then details about the movie started to unfold. Steve Carell stars as the main voiceover,  who is without a doubt, the funniest man alive (See Get Smart and then argue with me) , aided by Jason Segel  (Marshall from HIMYM), Russel Brand (Luckiest Man Alive) , Julie Andrews (Sound of Music) and Miranda Cosgrove (The annoying kid from School of Rock) . Now this movie starts to get more interesting, no ? The main draw about Despicable Me has to be the funny factor. Despicable Me is funny as hell (Hell isn't funny, I know), filled with humour that keeps your funny bone (Yes, you have such a bone) tickled like, well, something that's being tickled, alot. If you don't find yourself laughing, or falling asleep during the movie, something IS wrong with you =p. The yellow minions are also a huge part of Despicable Me. Think of them as Despicable Me versions of Toy Story's Little Green Men, except cuter & funnier, by a long shot. Sure, it's a cheap trick to use small men with funny accents and the unability to pronounce words for laughs, but it works. Despicable Me has a very predictable and cliche (Yes I know, it's cliche to say cliche) storyline, but the way it's unravelled really connects with the audience and leaves a lasting impression by evoking numerous emotions (If your a guy, just ignore this part)The score for the movie is also amazing. Combining Pharrell and Hans Zimmer is like combining butter and glue, but it works (So don't discount the butter-glue combo just yet) The Despicable Me theme song at the beginning is the best song I've ever heard in an animated movie, and sets the tone for the rest of the movie brilliantly. If there was one complaint I would have to put forth, and I really had to think hard about this, but perhaps the Little Yellow Men (It'll catch on, trust me)  were used a tad bit too much towards the end, but then again, that's a really small issue. All in all, Despicable Me is a must watch movie, it's without a doubt the best animated movie this year, and perhaps the best movie of the year (Inception might have a thing to say about that) . It's funnier than and has a better story than Toy Story 3, it eclipsed Eclipse (HAH!) and has quietly snuck up, behind everyone and put them all to shame.The bad guy is bad. The cute Little Yellow Men (It will catch on!) are cute and the funny is funny, it really is that simple.  You must watch this movie

• Awesome pacing
• Romance for the gals, Action for the guys
• Jacob doesn't seem to own a shirt

• Too much romance for some
• Crappy storyline
• Jacob doesn't  use a shirt

So what's new after my last post which was full of glee and happiness (THAT was sarcasm) ? A lot apparently, ALOT. So the World Cup concluded, so to the dozens of facebook statuses posted by people who don't really follow football and couldn't name 5 players on either team, let alone 11. So to the blaring noises of the vuvuzelas,  which were made available everywhere fro here to YouTube (Seriously, there was a widget to add a vuvuzela noise to any video you watch). I never got a vuvuzela =(. My favourite team Spain won, easily in fact, with passing so accurate that Rolex would be proud (Perhaps Xavi should be sponsored by Rolex, you know, with the accurate thing). The final was supposed to be a football match, the Dutch thought it was a karate competition, and started pulling out kung fu kicks (Perhaps they watched Karate Kid before the match, plus the Dutch coach one guy did kinda look like Jackie Chan, although I wasn't using my contacts at the time). Jet Li would've been proud of Nigel De Jong. Only one thing is left to be sorted, just one. I have to do something about it, and after that, life would as close to perfect as it could get, something I haven't felt in some time.

You know the old saying, when you get knocked , you gotta get up again ? Hmmm, perhaps that was a song. Anyway, what happens when before you get the chance to get up again, you get knocked down, over and over again, repeatedly.  I feel like running away, far far away. Where to ? It doesn't matter, anywhere but here. Depression isn't a state of mental illness, no, its a disease that plague very few, and to that very few who suffer from it know what I mean. It sucks that you get upset over every little thing that happens. It sucks you try to be happy but can't be. It sucks that you get upset over petty matters. It sucks that you can't do what you want to do with your life. It sucks that the only girl you like doesn't like you the same way. It sucks that your family is non-existent. 

I realized a little while ago that I am a hypocrite. What is a hypocrite you ask ? Well Einstein, get a dictionary. My posts about how you gotta get off your ass (Insert bleep Here) move on from exam results, the end of relationship etc was utter ullshit. Didn't read that ? Thanks for the support then. That was sarcasm by the way. What is sarcasm ? Well Einst- oh wait, I've said that already. Look up my post here :  http://theextremenarcissist.blogspot.com/2010/03/moving-on.html . You know what, it's utter bullshit (Insert Bleep Heere Too) and I would delete it but then I wouldn't be able to show it to you to tell you how wrong I was now would I ? You could move on, but you know what ? If you can't, it's ok to lie down and die (No, despite what you think, that wasn't sarcasm) (No, that wasn't reverse sarcasm either, really) (No, that too was-well this could go on for some time now, so I better stop). It's really okay if you can't move on, because moving on isn't hard, no, because if it was, everyone would have already moved on by now. EVERYONE. Because putting effort into moving on is easy, but sometimes, your emotions just don't permit you to move on, or you just aren't able to do so. I can't quite explain it, it's like how glue doesn't stick to the inside of a bottle (Don't go and google that and then tell me that you do know, smartass). And if your lucky, you'll find someone else who shares the same grief that you do (After all, sharing is caring) and you both can wallow in the stew of your self pity, wondering what went wrong and why it did go wrong. Do I sound pathetic ? Yes, I do. And yes, I just answered a question I aasked you. Oh well. But you know what, I'm tired of pretending, because that's what we all are right, pretenders, trying to fit into life like the pieces of the jigsaw. Well, I don't care if I don't fit in anymore. Hell, I'll be a one piece jigsaw if it means I speak what's really on my mind and not hide it somewhere between my dignity and my self conciousness. And you know what, I'm tired of being a hypocrite, like everyone else, pretending to be something your not. Act how you wnat to act, not how other people want you to.

I intend to write a book. I kid you not, and before you tell me how absurd my idea is, believe me, I know that what I intend to do is verging on impossible. But that hasn't stopped me before, dammit. What will my book be about ? I don't know. How will I publish it ? I don't know. Do I know the odds of my book even surviving the onslaught of the gruelling real world, filled with established authors, and up and comers with much better command of the english language than mine are slim ? Yes. Why do I keep asking myself questions ? Why do I keep using the same lines ? Everything seems a blur to me, and I honestly think this is my true calling. What I know for certain, is that I am commencing work on it now, and I intend to do the best I can. If nothing else interest me, then this is what I shall do. Sherlock olmes once said, If you eliminate all the suspects, whatever is left must be the answer. Logic my friend is your best friend. Put in on when you wake up, and take it off when you go to sleep, for only when you dream, only then, is when logic should be absent.

Moving on is never easy. May it be family issues, a relationship that ended, getting fired from a job (Quitting does NOT count), exam results, the loss of your pet rat who got eaten by your other pet snake, moving on is never, ever easy, if it is, check if you actually have a pulse. If you do, then cogratulations, you're breathing, have a cupcake =) Why the hell is moving on so damn difficult ? It's pretty simple actually, regrets always run through one's mind ( And NO, I am NOT tired because I've beeen running through your mind all day) . People would wonder how things would have been oh so different had they worked harder when it really counted, studied for longer hours, not cheated on a relationship and so on. But, this is where homosapiens (No you dumbass, homosexuals are totally different) become dumb and let emotions, the one thing that seperates us from our animal counterparts, take over. Remember the saying, follow your head, not your heart ? Well, your heart is fuelled by emotions, making you think irrationally and make dumb decisions, just ask people who have committed suicide, oh wait =/ Your head on the other hand (If you only have one hand, please do not be offended) is fulled by rational thinking and normally guides you in the right path. Yes, in movies, people who listen to their heart fall in love, get that kiss, land the hot chick, graduate from Harvard, walk on the Moon, and moonwalk with MJ in Elvis Presley's underground mansion while Dodo birds do the chicken dance. But this is reality. Reality is NEVER like that. People who follow their heart either end up broke, stoned, naked, or all three, just ask Amy Winehouse. Back to the the main topic, if you follow your head, you should know that it is pointless to regret not doing something in the past, because nothing you do (Unless of course you can build a time machine, in which case you could go back to 2004 and tell Britney to stick with JT and NOT to marry K-Fed) will change what happened. Regretting something will only affect your future, in a bad way. You already screwed up in the past, and now, because of that, your gonna screw up your future by moping around, it's a lose-lose situation. Sure, it's normal to feel remorse, but it should stop there. You wanna do something to make up for screwing up (other than buying nails of course), pick yourself up and work harder towards a better future, becasue you might not be able to change the past, but you can definitely chnage your future. Yesterday is HISTORY, and just like every chapter in your History text book, forget what happened, but at the same time, learn from it (Like, bombing another country is a bad idea) . Tomorrow is a mystery, and you can make it out to be whatever you want it to be, You want to be a spaceman ? Start eating cheese. Because you know, and I know, and Bush knows that the moon is made outta that shit . You wanna be like Tiger Woods, go bang 18 other chicks that aren't your wife =/ In all seriousness though, live life for the moment. Do that, and the world is yours for the taking. Leave regrets for meerkats. Sacul, out.

I was never planning to watch this movie. I was never looking forward to it. Basically, this movie could've slapped me twice over and I wouldn't have noticed. But we we bored. We had no choice. We had to watch this movie as there was nothing else to do. But I guess it was fate. Because we were meant to watch this movie. It was DESTINY. Let me just say From Paris With Love is an amazing, testosterone fuelled, swear filled, and just plain fucking good movie (The word fuck and motherfuck comes up ALOT in the movie, so much so that i capped the word 'ALOT'). The premise of the movie is simple. This plain old joe, who hates his jobs and wants a promotion (mind you, his job is spy-ish, but he changes number plates, that's like having a football-ish job but all you do is cut the grass on the field) finally gets it and it's not what he expects. The story for this movie is rubbish. I mean, it's there but it never really captures your attention, kind of like a new Pamela Anderson sex tape. The reason this movie really shines is because of the awesome acting of John Travolta. If the Oscars weren't made of of movies that made you sleepy and actually interesting, he would've won best actor for sure, but alas, that's not the case. John acts as agent Wax, this bad ass guy who goes around killing bad guys, swearing so much every censor that saw the movie got a stroke, banging anything that moved, and has a tendancy to never be shot by the hundreds of bullets that are shot at him. The scene where he is caught up with customs is hysterical. The action never dies off and you are either constantly laughing or caught up witht he action scenes, which were extremely well choreographed. If you weren't, check if you actually had a pulse. It really can't be described, the magnitude of Travolta's supreme acting, which carried te movie from Meh, to OMGHOLYSHITWHOAAAA. The movie did carry a message too.There were a few sub messages such as 'Guns are a men's best friend, screw diamonds', 'Swear until the sun goes down and comes up again', 'Shave your head bald, 'Earrings are awesome' , but the main one was 'Love is a bitch'. If you haven't seen this movie, which I'm guessing is a high probability (I guess because I never studied this chapter of Maths in school), go watch it now. I don't care if you're studying, ding your homework, eating, or wanking (You know who you are), get a ticket and watch it. If your deciding between this and The Book of Eli, watch this, because making a movie abut a book is like making a videogame about homework, fuck yeah (Who says movies have a bad influence on people?). I can't seem to be able to put up those nifty rating numbers I usually do, but meh. I'l give this movie an 11. Yes an 11. Why ? Because I can, that's why. You'll absolutely loves this movie. Now go watch it.

So about 2 weeks ago, I purchased an Alienware m15x laptop. For all of you who don't know, Alienware is a subsidary of Dell, and they produce gaming/media laptops. Basically, you wanna game, get this. So, after 2 weeks, I thought since I really have nothing else to blog about, I'll blog about my new boy, Earl (Yes I named my laptop after my flesh eating virus from hell, because it's that damn good). First, lemme run you trhough the boring numbers that might put you to sleep, so get the coffee brewing. The processor is the intel core i7 1.6 ghz , hich can be trubocharged up to 2.8 ghz. No, not the turbocharger you find in a car, because even if you could find a way to fit that in a laptop, all it would do is make your latop accelerate, and i dont think you would want that would you? Didn/t think so. 1080p display, 500 gb hard drive, 4gb RAM, NVIDIA GeForce GTX 260M graphics card. The latop came in an awesome box and cover, and oce it started up, it looked awesome. The Alienware FX system, which provides backlight to your keyboard, keypad, power button, alienware logo and alienhead is amazing fun to toy around with, mixing and matching colours to make it look like an ice cream made by a blind ice cream man. A few issues popped upped with the system, all of which were my fault. Firstly, i bought Bioshock 2, pirated of course (Don't give me that look, I bet YOU have 100s of pirated dvd's back home don't you ) and it corrupted my whole C Drive and it couldt eject. After 2 hours, it finally did. Never used that cd again. And then my games played really badly. I spent approximately 6 hours talking to Dell customer service only to discover the laptop has been on stealth mode (power saver mode) the whole time, and I could deactivate that with the touch of a button. I KNEW that, I just kept pressing the wrong button =/ Well, all that's fine and dandy, but how does it perform gaming wise you ask? I played Counter Strike Source, fully maxed out without Anti Aliasing, and managed 300 fps (Frames Per Second, basically how smooth the game runs). I ran Left 4 dead 2 fully maxed out with Anti Aliasing set at 16x and got 60fps. For those of you who don't get what I mean, anything above 30 fps is damn good. The bad points about this laptop ? The touchpad is a joke, and not my kind of jokes either. It is horrendous, but a mouse fixes all that. Also, it's pricey, very pricey. Don't wanna mention it here though. Overall, the Alienware m15x is something out of this world ( Yes, I'm Mr. I'm so funny laugh at my jokes) Jokes aside, this laptop is a monster, that devours any game it comes into contact with and if you have the cash to spare, it's worth every cent.