Eclipse Review

Posted: Wednesday, July 14, 2010 by sacul in
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Guys, brace yourselves, for it's time of the year again (No you idiot, guys don't have periods) . Every guy in a couple dreads the release of a new Twilight movie, because no matter how buff he is, no matter how good looking he is, no matter how big his, er, hands are, he is nothing compared to the oh so white Edward (Seriously, is no one in the movie curious/suspicious as to how this family became so damn white)  and the oh so buff Jacob sporting 8 packs, and not the beer kind. Chicks probably have to drag their other half to the cinema to catch this and repay them with sex. Well that is, until you find out this installment of the Twilight series is good, pretty damn good in fact. So guys, brace yourselves for three words that will make shake you to your very core, as well as question your manhood. No, it's not "Is it in ?", but in fact, 'Eclipse is good'. Eclipse is a very well paced movie, starting out slow, gaining pace, makes a sudden dash like Usain Bolt on steroids, and then slowing down at the very end (Kinda like a bedroom session, no?). The pacing in the movie was as perfect as it could get giving chicks what they came for with romance in abundance (Awwwww) leading up very well to a massive fight (Arghhhhhhhhh) and then ending again with romance (Ewww, oh I mean, Awwww). This movie also explored the rivalry between Edward and Jacob (I have a theory that they'll end up together, but that's for another day) like never before. I swear at one point I thought they were gonna pull a Brokeback Mountain, plus they were in a tent on a mountain, but alas, it didn't happen. The lengths some guys would go to get a girl is quite ridiculous (Trust me, this statement would be funny if you know me). Edward has her, Jacob wants her, and she herself doesn't loves them both and can't put this matter to bed (Not literally dumbass). The rest of the Cullen clan are also explained in the movie, their pasts and how they became white blood suckers with cool eyes and can live in a house together and go to school to become someone in the world (What ever happened to Count Dracula, cause he has got to be pretty pissed as to how gay vampires these days have become) . Anyway, Esme, Jasper, Carlisle and Alice are given alot more screen time this time around and if your a girl, odds are you'll find one of the guys sexy and if your a guy, you'll find one of the guys sexy (No, that was not a typo). The movie can be a bit of a turn off if you don't have a better half (Thats the girl), as there are a handful of romantic scenes, one involving a bed, and a room, get the picture ? So, if your intending to watch this with your parents, things are gonna get akward quickly. Also, if you haven't watched the previous two installments (If you haven't, don't bother picking it up, both of the movies are more boring than a game of chess with yourself), then you probably won't get the storyline and why this chick wants this chicks dead. Finally, if your a guy, Jacob doesn't seem to own a shirt. If your a girl, Jacob doesn't seem to own a shirt. Just a thought, if all the male werewolves (If you don't know what a werewolf is, you really shouldn't watch this movie) don't use shirts, then shouldn't the female werewolves do the same ? 













You'll love


  • Awesome pacing
  • Romance for the gals, Action for the guys
  • Jacob doesn't seem to own a shirt
You'll hate


  • Too much romance for some
  • Crappy storyline
  • Jacob doesn't  use a shirt

Update

Posted: Tuesday, July 13, 2010 by sacul in
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So what's new after my last post which was full of glee and happiness (THAT was sarcasm) ? A lot apparently, ALOT. So the World Cup concluded, so to the dozens of facebook statuses posted by people who don't really follow football and couldn't name 5 players on either team, let alone 11. So to the blaring noises of the vuvuzelas,  which were made available everywhere fro here to YouTube (Seriously, there was a widget to add a vuvuzela noise to any video you watch). I never got a vuvuzela =(. My favourite team Spain won, easily in fact, with passing so accurate that Rolex would be proud (Perhaps Xavi should be sponsored by Rolex, you know, with the accurate thing). The final was supposed to be a football match, the Dutch thought it was a karate competition, and started pulling out kung fu kicks (Perhaps they watched Karate Kid before the match, plus the Dutch coach one guy did kinda look like Jackie Chan, although I wasn't using my contacts at the time). Jet Li would've been proud of Nigel De Jong. Only one thing is left to be sorted, just one. I have to do something about it, and after that, life would as close to perfect as it could get, something I haven't felt in some time.

It Sucks

Posted: Sunday, July 11, 2010 by sacul in
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You know the old saying, when you get knocked , you gotta get up again ? Hmmm, perhaps that was a song. Anyway, what happens when before you get the chance to get up again, you get knocked down, over and over again, repeatedly.  I feel like running away, far far away. Where to ? It doesn't matter, anywhere but here. Depression isn't a state of mental illness, no, its a disease that plague very few, and to that very few who suffer from it know what I mean. It sucks that you get upset over every little thing that happens. It sucks you try to be happy but can't be. It sucks that you get upset over petty matters. It sucks that you can't do what you want to do with your life. It sucks that the only girl you like doesn't like you the same way. It sucks that your family is non-existent. 

LA FURIA ROJA

Posted: Sunday, July 4, 2010 by sacul in
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The Narcissitic Hypocrite

Posted: Friday, July 2, 2010 by sacul in
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I realized a little while ago that I am a hypocrite. What is a hypocrite you ask ? Well Einstein, get a dictionary. My posts about how you gotta get off your ass (Insert bleep Here) move on from exam results, the end of relationship etc was utter ullshit. Didn't read that ? Thanks for the support then. That was sarcasm by the way. What is sarcasm ? Well Einst- oh wait, I've said that already. Look up my post here :  http://theextremenarcissist.blogspot.com/2010/03/moving-on.html . You know what, it's utter bullshit (Insert Bleep Heere Too) and I would delete it but then I wouldn't be able to show it to you to tell you how wrong I was now would I ? You could move on, but you know what ? If you can't, it's ok to lie down and die (No, despite what you think, that wasn't sarcasm) (No, that wasn't reverse sarcasm either, really) (No, that too was-well this could go on for some time now, so I better stop). It's really okay if you can't move on, because moving on isn't hard, no, because if it was, everyone would have already moved on by now. EVERYONE. Because putting effort into moving on is easy, but sometimes, your emotions just don't permit you to move on, or you just aren't able to do so. I can't quite explain it, it's like how glue doesn't stick to the inside of a bottle (Don't go and google that and then tell me that you do know, smartass). And if your lucky, you'll find someone else who shares the same grief that you do (After all, sharing is caring) and you both can wallow in the stew of your self pity, wondering what went wrong and why it did go wrong. Do I sound pathetic ? Yes, I do. And yes, I just answered a question I aasked you. Oh well. But you know what, I'm tired of pretending, because that's what we all are right, pretenders, trying to fit into life like the pieces of the jigsaw. Well, I don't care if I don't fit in anymore. Hell, I'll be a one piece jigsaw if it means I speak what's really on my mind and not hide it somewhere between my dignity and my self conciousness. And you know what, I'm tired of being a hypocrite, like everyone else, pretending to be something your not. Act how you wnat to act, not how other people want you to.

Posted: Tuesday, June 29, 2010 by sacul in
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I give up, you win. Really, I do.





Iron Man 2 Review

Posted: Wednesday, May 5, 2010 by sacul in
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So this was THE movie of the summer (not like we have summer over here), not a movie, but THE movie. Good to see my caps lock button is working. Moving on, Iron Man 2 had massive expectations to meet, those on par with The Dark Knight, and this without a cast member passing away before the movie released. Did the movie meet those expectations? Not quite, but then again, the only way it really could meet those expectations was to have massive , explosive, testosterone-fulled fire fights straight from hell, a brilliantly creepy and odd villain more Kick Ass than Kick Ass the movie, a super hot assistant, a well thought out story, and a cliffhanger ending (no, those are not the same things you use to hang clothes with). Oh, wait a minute, it had all of those things and more. Quite simply Iron Man 2 outshone Iron Man in every way. Think of Iron Man as a lightbulb. Iron Man 2 was a lighthouse. Tony Stark is more egotistical (yes, that IS a word) , witty and charming as ever. Robert Downey Jr. played the part very well, and made it very believable and one can't help but like him even though he's a billionaire who's ego is as big as a very big ego. It doesn't hurt that he's quite good looking (No, I'm not gay, I ahve an opinion). The main baddie in the movie is Whiplash, portrayed by Michael Rourke. Without a doubt MR has to be the most creepy villain this side of creepsville has seen since the Joker. With no disrespect intended, had Michael Rourke suffered the same fate as Heath Ledger, he would've been nominated for an Oscar. Such was his performance as the main baddie that at one point, you couldn't be blamed for wanting the badass Whiplash to come out on top against those men made of iron, whatever you call them. ScarJo acts a ony's new assistant in the movie and boy oh boy does she play the part well. She acte- who am I kidding, Scarlett Johansson, woooooooo. She was super hot in the movie, and had this mysterious vibe about her, making her even more sexy than she already was, which defies the laws of nature. Kinda like, how you think you can;t make a cilli hotter, and then you it on fire. Okay, moving on *puts bucket of drool away*, the soundtrack to the movie was awesome, AC*thunder sign*DC providedthe ost to the movie and it was friggin genius. Their pure rock roots blended well with the kickass aura the Iron Man movie brought, and playing 'Highway To Hell' at the end was brilliant. However, how the hell could they not play the Iron Man theme song ? Whathefuckiswrongwiththemmorons !!!! The Iron Man theme song is iconic, and not playing it left me dumbfounded, disappointed, and disgruntled (That's three of the seven dwarfs mind you). Also, they destroyed a Rolls Royce Phantom =( The movie also starts out pretty slow, petty things that you don't really care about and laugh about nervously happen, but the build up really does culminate in a big, epic fight sequence, but it still starts out slow. I would've given the movie a 8.5 but seeing as they showed SarcJo in her undies, it gets a 9.5. Oh, and the chauffuer is actually the director of the movie and stay until after the credits roll, no matter how long it takes, even if you think they're not going to show you that scene, they will, WAIT .Patience is the key to success, unless you don't have a door.